Julie Plum: Crap Exorcist

What total and utter crap.

Update: Violet has informed me that this does not actually constitute a review. I don’t think this particular book deserves any more of my time, but to appease my sister, here we go. Begin rant.

Brief Synopsis: A 16 year old girl runs around a (literal) ghost town looking to exorcise a demon accompanied by 2 friends and a useless tagalong boyfriend.

That’s it. That’s the whole story.

For some reason, this town in Anywhere, USA (but totally MidWest, let’s be honest) is completely evacuated of all living inhabitants because of a single demon possessed boy. Apparently there were no priests or any other kind of professional that could have been called, so bring in the inexperienced teen!

This quickly brings into questioning, who is paying this girl? Is the city paying her? Are there even still city officials/finances to pay her?? And what happened to the people who did live in this city? Did they just find the demon possessed and pick up and go? Is this why the city in Footloose became the city in Footloose? These are not questions to disturb a certain author, it would seem.

Whatever the back story, young Julie Plum, our “heroine” (and I’m seriously stretching the meaning of the word), takes to her first exorcism. Followed closely by her friends who are really only there to carry giant books of Latin incantations. –I would like to note how easy it just was to convey the idea that Latin incantations were spoken. It literally took no Latin. This chick wrote out e v e r y incantation that was used in its entirety. I swear I skimmed through half the book, because why would I ever take the time to read through a language I don’t speak or understand.-

At least her friends had some kind of use. Because otherwise we would only be left with her fumbling, bumbling boyfriend. This guy screwed up every attempt at the exorcism. It actually took them the entire book to exorcise a single demon because this idiot wouldn’t just stay in the car!

Above all else, all I can say is: Girls, just leave it to the (extremely attractive) professionals.

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